These past couple of weeks have been rough. It's been a really rough time, but I've managed to find a great deal of clarity in the past few weeks, and I'm not restarting and I'm not redoing because the prefix 're' implies that I've failed the first time and I'm forced to start over (haha restart).
Instead, I'm evolving, I'm growing, and it's something that each and every one of us do every day. I'm not only learning more about myself, but I'm learning about the world around me and the people that are in it.
My goals are simple:
1) Live for me. I'm really tired of sticking my neck out for people and being there for people that find it very easy to turn their backs on me. I don't need liars, cheaters, people that judge, or people that are hypocrites in my life. Granted, we all lie, cheat, judge, and poke fun at others, but I'm turning over a new leaf, and I don't want people in my life that focus incessantly on the negative in themselves and others.
2) Which brings me to my second point, focusing on the positive. It's really easy to look back on a day and think about everything that's gone wrong. Far too easy. Instead, I'm pushing myself to focus on the positive. That means, little pieces of negativity in my life are not going to be things that I focus on. Instead, I intend to put myself as far away from them as possible.
3) I'm also focusing on healthier living. This automatically makes people think of diet and exercise, but I'm dieting on more than just food. I'm dieting on a healthier mentality and happier thoughts and exercising my positivity. I'm attempting to live a greener lifestyle because it's what makes me happy. This means turning my lights off whenever possible, unplugging things when they're not being used, and turning off objects when they're not being used. I watched an Episode of MythBusters years ago that affects me every time I think of leaving a light on, and I'll share it with you. If you leave a room and leave the lightbulb (this is a normal 60 watt bulb) on, you're wasting energy. Unless you leave the room and come back in less than a second, you've wasted energy. The timing is a little more for flourescents. I put my TV on a sleep timer, bump up the AC when I'm not home, etc. I don't care if it doesn't make a difference, I just feel better doing it.
The one bit of energy that I refuse to give up is the lamp that I leave on in the living room. It's on from 6pm to 1am. There is a 9 watt bulb in it (maybe less) that runs during that time. It's a feeling of safety for me and I value the safety in the $0.20 paid for that bulb a day. (Sure beats paying $30 a month for security systems!)
4) I'm going to pay attention to what other people say/do around me, but I'm not going to let it affect me. Too often I over-analyze people's actions and words toward me, trying to find the hidden meaning because a lot of times people don't really say what they feel. No more. If someone feels that they have issues around me, they can talk about it. If not, I'm not going to let it slow down my day anymore. I'm tired of bending over backwards trying to make people happy when they don't even have the decency to talk to me about what's bothering them.
5) I'm going to say what's on my mind. Granted, I'm not going to go around blurting every thought that I have, but I'm also not going to let someone get away with hurting me. If something upsets me, I'm going to say something. 9 times out of 10 it's a misunderstanding and talking about it usually resolves the issue.
6) I'm going to do what I want and not feel guilty about it. A couple of years ago, I got into a habit of coming home and taking a nap after work. I'm more productive at night and I'd much rather take a nap from 7pm - 10pm and wake up and get stuff done (where I normally wouldn't have finished things) and stay up until 2am and sleep late the next day (or if I go to work, come home and take a nap, repeating the process). My mother has always made me feel guilty for this, but not anymore. Just because I do things differently doesn't make me a bad person.
7) I'm not going to judge others because they don't do things like me. I think the best part of being human is that we're all different. We all think separately, and we all get to think and do or say whatever we want. Granted, I don't think it's okay to go around and murder people's cats without good reason, but just because people live life differently, doesn't mean that I should get upset by it. However, if it affects me negatively, I will say something about it (see #5). For the most part, I think that I do live life fairly judgement free, but at the same time, there's always room for improvement.
8) Love myself.
9) Love everyone else.
10) Smile. Sing. Dance. Be happy.
"Life is but a dream. There are no rules, only loves and fears. No one knows just why we are here and what the point is but we have figured out so far that it's based on having experiences. We all get to have a wonderful time, even if it is limited, to dance and play out here on the surface on the earth, on the side of the rock, and thankfully we're not sliding down to some bottom or being flung off the side of it as it spins and do-si-do's around the galaxy."
-Jason Mraz
Well said.
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