I get by with a little help from my friends

If I could only use one word to describe the month of July: Frustrating. I don't think that I've gotten much accomplished this month without really having to work at it. I wish that I could say the hard work has paid off, but instead, I feel as if I'm a hamster in a wheel constantly running, but not really getting anywhere...frustrating.

This weekend, I helped my younger sister move. Or rather, my mom, my older sister, and I moved my sister while she found things to preoccupy herself with. I think she pushed her mattress down the stairs and carried a few empty drawers. Her mattress now has a gray tint to it from the dirt from where she shoved it down a flight of stairs and proceeded to push it to the car with the same lack of desire to actually lift it. My older sister was bitten by a tick, I'm covered in several bruises, and to be honest the first ten hours of the trip were agonizing. Mom lost her debit card twice. Just traveling 30 miles lasted an hour. It was exhausting (exaughsting - haha). For whatever reason, the last three hours of our four hour drive home were spent with me in a sudden mood to entertain, and we laughed so hard that Christy almost wet herself and almost fell out of the car when we stopped at a restroom (which sold SUPER-STUDDED-GLOW-IN-THE-DARK-TINGLY-RINGS!), Mom laughed so hard she cried, and I'm certain that to a few passerbys we may have appeared to be drunk with our lack of attention to the road...aside from when I was talking about cars in an Australian accent as if they were animals. Yes. You had to be there, and I'm glad I was. I think that I finally realized I just needed to let go, and I was finally able to do just that.

It's taken me a month to get it, but I'm not going to let little things bother me so much anymore. I'm not going to continue to try hard to include people in my life when they make it painfully obvious they don't want to be here. I don't want to be that person, and I don't want to be someone that constantly worries over someone like that. I'm so thankful for what I do have, and grateful for everyone that does help me and that is here for me.

My mom sent me flowers, and they are in a cute smiley face mug which I'm really excited to eat soup out of when I'm feeling sick or drink orange juice out of...whatever works. I've never really received flowers before, and they came at a great time. When I went downstairs into the office at work, I wanted to cry when I saw them. Not because I was extremely happy, which I was, but because I realized how ungrateful I've been. No more.

I'm grateful for the people that are in my life, that respect me, that listen to me, and that make an attempt to be here for me.

I'm done worrying about things that don't really matter in the long run, and I'm starting to cherish and love the things that are always going to be there for me.

To you. Thank you.